tummy time skin to skin

Dads with infants, it’s likely you already know about tummy time. However, you may not know this awesome tip that’s sure to make your baby love you more than mom (regardless of breast size).

Tummy time is when you allow your infant to spend time on their stomach. It is great for your baby because it helps them develop neck muscles and gets them in a position where they can start turning their heads towards things, like, for example, you (instead of mom). It also helps baby’s head round out in the back (critical for smartness and therefore hopefully wealth later on in life).

What you may not know about tummy time, however is that it’s the best for bonding. And here’s one little tip you have to employ: you’ve got to do tummy time bare-chested.

Think about it: your baby was inside of mom for a while, sharing blood, piss, caca, and pizza. You started this whole thing with your sperms, but, since then, you’ve been at a serious disadvantage, stuck on the outside looking in, like a jerk, like a guy with a sh!tty mustache. They had pizza already, PIZZA! Baby can’t even have solid foods and mom’s already shared PIZZA with it!?

Catch my drift? This is serious. You have to work your butt off now – it’s time to bond with your baby, it’s time to take back what’s yours, it’s time to return to the inner fortress of your awesome and mount a full-scale attack on your child. Bring your headband.

How are you going to do this? By spending some serious time belly on belly, bare skin on bare skin. It’s so simple! And I know it works ‘cause a mystical old Indian told me about it. Just take off baby’s jumper, leaving the diaper firmly installed (always, always maintain a firmly installed diaper). Then remove your shirt and place baby’s belly against yours (it helps if you lie down, on your back). That’s it! You’re bonding!

Another great reason for tummy time
Bare-chested tummy time is so great because mom is exceedingly limited as to when she can do it. Why? Titties! We can totally do this out in public on a warm day; there is no problem with you or baby being seen shirtless (even in malls, even if you have big ol’ schmeeblies). Mommy, however, needs special hooter-hiders even to do things like feed the baby, so she’s missing out on all this post-birth skin-on-skin bonding! + 1 Dads.

Don’t believe me? Just ask my wife about it. Our 2 year old likes me a hell-of-a-lot more than he likes her. Why? Bare belly tummy time. It’s science.

So, get out there and get bare-chested with your infant. It’s one of the best things in the world, honest.


Image Credit: Joanna Tano

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