Here I am sitting at Red Sands with my baby mama. Her stomach plump with baby. I’m thinking about the future life with child, family, fatherhood. I’m a stones throw away from it all. One week and my entire life will be forever changed. We don’t know the sex of our baby… Will I have a son or a daughter? What kind of father will I become? I’ve seen plenty of examples of fathers: good fathers, bad fathers, absent fathers, overprotective fathers. Then there was my father. I remember his words, his movements, how much he affected me and how much of my spirit was shaped in those early years. “Like a potter shaping clay,” he’d say, as he literally shaped a bowl on his potter’s wheel. Holy Hell! My child will remember everything I do, FOREVER!
At the beginning of our pregnancy, many of my elders told me that my wife would slowly be changing into a pregnant monster known for beheading and castrating men, destroying small villages, breathing fire etc. etc. This scared me, for my wife can be quite sharp when she wants to be and very powerful! The idea of a cracked out KALI goddess taking over my love had me a little concerned, to say the least. We talked about all we’d heard and decided that though this may have been true for some, it didn’t necessarily have to be our story. We would communicate and have compassion for each other no matter what our egos had in mind. I have now lived with this beautiful pregnant monster for 9 months and my experience has been an amazing, sweet, vulnerable, angry, frustrating, joyous, compassionate hoopla of baby town! The changes I have witnessed in my wife, and the way our love has been personified in a child has brought her closer to me, and me to her. I am so blessed! So scared! So excited!
The best advice I can give to an expecting father is to talk to your partner about how you feel. Tell her what you’re afraid of, what you’ve heard, and what you don’t know. Don’t react. Don’t get hot headed. You’re gonna’ get frustrated. You’re gonna’ get pissed. Let it out healthily. COMMUNICATE. COMMUNICATE. COMMUNICATE.
I guarantee you the stories I originally heard were from men separate from their wives. F*#k it! Be humble. Bow your head. If anyone deserves to be praised, it is the one who holds your dreams in her womb. My story, up till now, is over. Soon I will be a father and I cannot think of a more important role to play.
Image Credit: Caprice Nicole Photography