The following are Mommy’s top 10 rules for the bathroom:
1. If I go into the bathroom, close and lock the door, I have not abandoned you forever. I still exist and will return soon… Probably.
2. If I am sitting on the toilet, please pick a different time to wedge yourself between my legs and crawl onto my lap.
3. Although fascinating, toilets generally need to be flushed only once at a time, not ten times in a row.
4. Toilet water is NOT a place to play with your toys, no matter how much fun it seems, ESPECIALLY if the water is yellow.
5. Food: NOT for the bathroom.
6. Public restroom floor: NOT a good place to sit down or eat (refer back to rule #4).
7. If I am sitting on the toilet in a public restroom, KEEP THE DOOR CLOSED!
8. Toilet paper is used only for wiping ourselves clean or wiping our noses. No matter how much fun this seems it is NOT for unraveling and covering the bathroom floor with. It is also not for loading up into the toilet bowl to see how many flushes it takes to disappear (and then clog up the pipes) or to see how long it takes for the water to spill onto the floor!
9. Mommy’s personal hygiene pads/applicators are not toys, food or items to wear!
10. One last note on toothpaste. It is not a body lotion, mirror cleaner or counter finger paint. Believe it or not, it is for keeping your teeth clean!
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