Dear Aunty Tina, Everyone I know, without exception has torn giving birth. Is tearing at birth a fact of life?
Tearing is preventable as long as the mama only pushes when her body tells her too. Epidurals can often impede this, as they prevent you from feeling any sensation or connection. If you as the mama can put your hands on the baby’s head when it begins to crown, it will help you feel the progress and keep you connected. Also don’t hold your breath, exhale your baby out. Think exhalation and remember to have a relaxed wide mouth, which will help keep the muscles relaxed around the perineum.
Massaging the perineum 3 weeks before the due date, 5 minutes a day, may also help the tissue become more supple. Use only natural oils such as olive, coconut, almond or jojoba oil.
If the impulse to push gets out of control the body will not have had enough time to prepare and open up. I know you may want the baby out of there, but be patient and take your time to ease the pushing and allow the tissue to adapt. Remember to take your luscious time for your lotus to open to prevent it from tearing.