Being aware of energy (mostly my own) has been the most efficient tool utilized while raising my daughter. When I say this I am not speaking of whether or not I am tired, rather the energy within us and surrounding us, everywhere. You can benefit implementing this in everyday life, especially parenting.
This idea of being aware of our energy and using this awareness as a parenting tool is a fairly new idea, although some of our parents may have used it without knowing.
I believe all relationships are based on energy. We sometimes say: “I like that person” or “I just don’t like her and I don’t know why”. That is energy. A singer can give you goose bumps. That is energy. It is the energy that people embody/project that we can sense and resonate or not resonate with. Some of us are more sensitive to this energy than others and children are especially sensitive to energetic changes. You can practice tuning into and feeling the different energies around you and within you and if practiced everyday. As with most things, you can master it.
In parenting classes/books they advise you to use common tools to address the bedtime routine e.g., Tell your child he has 10 minutes to finish playing, then 5 minutes and expect your child to be ready to go to bed when you say, or threaten punishment if he does not obey, or bribe him with prizes if he does obey.
Most young children have little concept of time, and it is just my personal preference not to use prize or punishment to raise my child. Instead, I use my one main tool that, when used consistently, gives me desirable results. I become very aware of my energy and what I want.
First thing I do, is to become very clear with myself. I believe that when you know what you want, when you want it, you can achieve it. This is just the “law of attraction” applied to parenting.
If you have mixed feelings or are not grounded, your child is going to pick up on this and he will be less willing to do as you ask him. At the moment your energy waivers, your child, who is much more sensitive at being a master of energy (they are!), will pick up that you are not fully committed. He will not want to follow any directions because he “feels” you are not sure about what you want him to do. If you are centered and clear about what you want and what you will get, you will project that confident energy to him and he will be more likely to happily comply with your request. It is about energy! I have always used this tool with my daughter and it has always worked.
Second, check in with yourself. If you are frustrated with some issue (money, partner, work, health, etc), you will project that energetically to your child and he will most likely mirror it back to you. For example, when you are frustrated or ‘fried’ your children may be more likely to ‘act out’. They can feel your energy. What I suggest for these days is to clean the energy that you accumulate throughout your day, if you can get a moment to yourself, or before seeing your child if you are coming home from work.
There are many different ways to do this:
1. Breathe deeply 5 times, to calm the nervous system and to check in with what is bothering you.
2. Write down what is causing you angst, sometimes it is better to write it out and release.
3. Imagine a bubble of light around who or what is bothering you and/or say and mean, the 4 phrases for Ho’oponopono: Please forgive me, I am sorry, thank you, I love you. Or you may say a little prayer/mantra for the situation or person.
4. As you do any or all of the above, you are going to cut any cord of energy with that person/situation that you don’t resonate with any more.
5. Now you are free to go and hug your child!
Note: If you can do it in the shower, ocean, or a waterfall, even better as water can be cleansing in more ways than one.
As you become more aware of energy and aspire to create a more positive and compassionate you, you may find that your children reflect this back as you begin to create the energetic space in your home that you wish your family to live in.