Well, I can certainly say it’s my time to shine, getting to be the scary and goofy father of two boys under the age of 12. What more could a single dad ask for? It’s almost that time of year again. I can already see the three of us scouring the malls and corporate strong holds of Kahului for our ghoulish home decor, cotton spider webs complete with giant rubber spiders and I couldn’t forget our silly make up that will undoubtedly be covering the sheets of our beds so very soon. Oh how I long to hear the voices of my children complaining about how bad their little bellies hurt because they were unable to control their gluttony on the creepiest day of the year.
Oh, I’ve got them fooled alright. They think Halloween is for kids, for them, haha! What are they thinking right? It’s already a fact that dad gets to rummage through their bags of goodies and will hoard all of the best stuff for himself. I harbor no guilt when it comes to eating their candy, it’s to keep them healthy, and better if I get fat and have my teeth rot than they.
Every year we ask ourselves the same questions leading up to this climactic day of reckoning. What shall we be? Do we make our own costumes or go to Savers and pretend that we are actually “Saving”? Last year it was a Minecraft Halloween, the year before it was The Avengers. This year it is important… so important as my oldest boy is getting to that questionable age. I can just hear them thinking, “Is this kid too old for Trick or Treating?” Well, it never stopped me from trying when I was a teenager. So just in case he’s not feeling it next year, this year we’re gonna go big. No holding back, the best costumes and best streets that give out the most candy!
It’s important to us that we not go to the neighborhoods where the residents only give out one piece of candy, and of course we must hit a haunted house, as well as the streets with the most kids running about. Spreckelsville is one of the best places because it’s among the most beautifully decorated, but for us we’ve found that the citizens of Makawao’s homes, especially Makawao Ranch Acres, are the most generous and haunted houses are there in abundance. A stroll through the town of Paia is always on the top of our lists too, as many of the shops there love to see the kids coming through with their bags open and their holiday spirit in full flex.
And then we must, as we do every year, come home and brag to each other about whose costume was the biggest hit out there. This family ritual is important. To us it is sacred. None of us really notice the daily life issues that would typically matter on any other day such as being dead tired, our legs being so sore from walking for miles, our faces hurt from smiling so much and our teeth are nearly rotting away at every bite we take. “Brush your teeth before bed kids” I unwittingly ask this request every year. “Why dad, what’s the point?” I suppose I already know that they’re gonna sneak candy into the bed. Not only for themselves but also to feed the ants. They need their sugar fix too. Then dad will attempt to hide the candy. Every year I presume that I have found the best hiding spot for the goods. I cannot have them just going for it, a month-long-sugar-free-for-all. Can I? It all becomes clear a week before Thanksgiving, when we are taking down decorations and doing house cleaning, that I did not hide the candy so well. Under the pillows and under the beds lies the evidence, the evidence that kids will be kids and that it is nearly impossible to keep them away from what they know to be their once a year hoard.
Image Credit: Billy Campbell