birthing story

I gave birth on 12-12-12, (falling on that date is another story) and it was an experience. It had been a bit scary throughout the labor, having to monitor every little beat of my baby’s heart, but when he finally came into this world 12 hours later, it was THE most Amazing Miracle I had ever witnessed.

At around 6 months pregnant. I would listen to my baby’s heartbeat at home (I had bought a Fetal Doppler) I felt something wasn’t quite right. I brought it to my doctor’s attention twice, but each time, they checked it out and said everything was fine. (I cannot stress enough, how important it is to listen to your intuition, and never hesitate to ask, or tell your doctor about anything, big or small that grabs your attention). Well, after arriving at the hospital in labor, the nurse noticed something wrong with my baby’s heartbeat at the first reading from the monitor. After different tests, more monitoring, calls from doctor to specialists off island, and me scared out of my wits (though I tried not to show it) the situation was: my baby had Fetal Cardiac Arrhythmia…could turn out to be nothing…or could turn into something serious but no-one had the answers!…Whoa…Wait…What?! At this point I didn’t really know what to think, or what to feel. All we could do was monitor our baby’s heartbeat.

As positive as I was trying to be, I was a mess, mentally. I listened to every beat of his heart, every off beat sounded like it was trying to catch up to the next. I just wanted him here already so I could protect him. Since I hadn’t slept yet I tried to quiet my mind and slept off and on for the next few hours.

My contractions were close, steady and strong, but I wasn’t dilating fast enough. The doctor came in and said if things didn’t start happening within the next hour, he would most likely have to do a cesarean, then left. In the next hour, things moved very quickly, I was finally fully dilated, so I told the nurse I was ready to push! I got in position, coach 1 & 2 (nurse & hubby) each grabbed a leg, and I pushed like there was no tomorrow. I would inhale as much air as my lungs could carry and push harder, and longer with every exhale. My coaches kept cheering me on saying, “You can do this!”… “You’re so strong!”… “Push harder!!” An hour had gone by. I kept thinking to myself, “Do you guys really think I’m not already pushing as hard as I possibly can?!!” But I kept quiet, kept my chin in, and kept pushing. Another hour went by, at this point I was thinking, “Is anything happening?! Am I getting anywhere?” I’m exhausted, sucking on a wet cloth for hydration, blinded by pain…but still going. I began shaking, I started to feel weak, but good ol’ number 1&2 kept chanting “1…2…3…4…PUSH!” Another hour had gone by and I was ready to give in, then all of the sudden… “HAIR!!!”, says the nurse, “I see hair!!”…”LOOK!!”, she looks to my husband, joyfully, his eyes widened and started to water, then he looked into mine, smiling exhaust-fully, and said, “I can see the head sweetie! Keep going! You’re almost there, push harder!!”… “You are amazing!!”… “You’re so strong!!”… “Keep pushing!!” And just when I thought I couldn’t push anymore…suddenly, I felt a deep pull inside, looked up and there he was, (‘HE’ was a boy, surprise!) my baby! I am truly astonished by the strength of a woman when it comes to the Labor of Love.

Tears of joy and laughter flowed from my heart as I reached to grab him and snuggled him into my bare skin. When I could gain my voice from crying, I softly whispered to him, “Iryn, it’s okay belly bean, mamas here.” He stopped crying in that moment, and turned his head to me, our eyes met, his opened up wide, we lay there as long we could, relieved from it all, gazing into each others eyes.

They still needed to monitor his heart, so they had to take him away to the nursery. They took him from my arms and put him into the glass bassinet, he screamed and cried, and as they rolled away, I called out to him, “It’s okay my baby, mamas here.” He turned his head to my voice and stopped crying! I wanted to jump out of that bed and grab my baby and comfort him, but I couldn’t just then. I was heart broken. It seemed like forever until I heard those little wheels rolling down the hall getting closer and closer to my room, and then there he was! I jumped up and grabbed my precious little baby. He was back in my arms, and there he stayed. We snuggled, we slept, we nursed, we gazed, and it was Beautiful.

FOUR days later (which seemed like an eternity), we were finally able to bring our baby home! Happy – Happy we were, my husband, our baby, and I. Today Iryn, (eye-rin) just turned 7 months, and I am overjoyed to say has a strong heart of gold.

Image Credit: Brittnee Erickson

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