parenting new child Marie fitzsimons

How do you gracefully transition from being single, or being a couple, to being a family? How do you bring another human being into your life without losing the very intimacy that made that baby? Is it even possible after having a baby? Let me tell you a love story.

Our daughter Luan Blue just turned 14, March 31st. She is a beautiful, kind, intelligent, compassionate young woman. When she was a newborn, I remember her lying on the bed in between my husband and I. She was so perfect and we were in awe of her and very aware of the fact that she was made of our love for each other. While Rich and I used to snuggle up to each other all night long, now we had this tiny little baby in the bed between us. Rich and I embraced around her, our feet touching, our hands touching, our eyes meeting. She was at the center of this heart-shape made by our bodies in the bed. She was the center of our universe, exactly where she needed to be.

My husband and I never had a moment of jealousy or of missing each other. Each time I saw him hold her, sing to her, rock her in his big arms, I felt loved myself by the power of his love for her.
As I held her, breastfed her, nurtured her, my husband too felt loved by my love for her. There was more than enough love to go around. She was a natural extension of our love for each other. Our love had expanded, grown to include this beautiful child.

Whether you are a single parent, lesbian or gay parents, adoptive parents, foster parents, step-parents… however you came to be with this child in your life, take your time and pause and appreciate the love expansion.

Breathe, and behold the miracle that is your child. This little being has come to be with you, to be part of your family, not to take anything away from you, but to enrich your life.

Your life will become deeper, more profound and more meaningful than you could ever have imagined. This child is an expression of love.

Image Credit: Marie Fitzsimons

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Marie Fitzsimons is a parent educator, mediator and relationship coach who gets to the heart of the matter. She lives on Olinda Road in Makawao with her loving husband and three wonderful children. Marie is available for private coaching sessions for children and adults, individuals, couples and groups. She can be reached at 808-344-3379 or


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