Christina DeHoff illuminata

One of the most precious and powerful journeys of womanhood unfolds during pregnancy. We glow with vitality throughout this pure act of creation. When something perfect forms out of nothing.

My Beloved and I chose to settle on a small piece of land during our conception, pregnancy and birth. We lived without conveniences – no electricity, no plumbing, no house and no shoes. We desired to grow our own food and connect with nature’s rhythms.

We also wanted the pregnancy and birth to be held in the arms of our trust – in the goodness of life, in each other’s strength and in the wisdom of the female body.

Great amounts of fear arose at different times on this path, fear that potentially lies embedded in the wombs of all women. Regardless of the way we choose to give birth, we are confronted with the greatest catastrophe of the human mind – our own death. We have heard childbirth is dangerous and that many women have died giving birth. I wanted to understand more about these beliefs.

I simply sat and observed my thoughts when these concerns appeared and I was amazed with what was revealed. My fear would come and go but soon I began to feel a place inside of me that was unaffected by this moving display of ever-changing worries – a place of stillness. I soon realized that if I was internally still, I would begin to feel this stillness spread throughout my being. It was clear, calm, content and stable and I knew this was lasting peace.

I realized in order to have the healthiest birth and welcoming of our child into this life, I had to see through the eyes of stillness. And when my water broke, I surrendered into this mysterious place that felt both empty and full. All that I experienced was born out of quietness and returned to its silence. In gratitude I share that twelve hours later our beautiful baby was received by the hands of his father.

We all have our own routes to take in regards to our style of giving birth. Whatever way we choose, we can do so in the recognition of who we are behind the voice in our head and its innumerable anxieties. As the road through motherhood continues, we can deepen into the gift we all have to be present as the still eternal life, the only true avenue of stability we can call home.

Image Credit: Christina DeHoff

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