home birth Maui newborn

The evening before I gave birth was the most stunning sunset, the color of flames and clouds and the shape of Phoenix wings. The Phoenix was rising! Sunday September 10th 2006, I awoke with dull pains coming from my womb. I went to the bathroom and instinctively ran a bath. As water poured into the tub I sat gathering my thoughts. This is the day that I will be holding Phoenix in my arms and it suddenly dawned on me right then there that I, and only I, was going to be the one birthing this baby out today… Arghhhh!!!

Having chosen to have a homebirth I went back into the bedroom & woke Paul up saying, “I’m having mild contractions, I’m going to get in the bath”. With that, he shot out of bed saying, “Have you called the Midwife? How far apart are they?” All that wonderful information that we had learnt at the Valley Isle Birthing classes had clicked right into place and from that moment on I knew that I had a great, well-organized Birthing Partner!

Looking at Paul indicating to him whenever the waves of each contraction started and ended he sat timing each one, writing them down on an envelope which I now treasure – it was time to call the Midwife! My midwife came in, calm like Florence Nightingale, which I couldn’t understand. Didn’t she know I was having a BABY!! I was in a lot of discomfort and I realized that everything from this moment forward would be absolutely alien to me – time to SURRENDER! I would never be the same again as I transitioned through this ultimate, life-changing experience.

Now late afternoon I could no longer talk or look at anyone. I had disappeared into ‘Birthing Warrior’ mode. Using everything that I had within me to breath through the most intense waves of expansion that I have ever experienced. Paul had prepared the most peaceful birthing space. Drawings that we had done in our ‘Birthing From Within’ classes, incense, candles, soft music, fresh flowers from the garden and a wooden statue on our birthing shrine of a PHOENIX.

At 5:30pm, Paul assisted the midwife with the delivery of Phoenix and held him whilst I gathered myself. On all fours, I turned around to take a look at my newborn baby. I was genuinely surprised at the fact that he was suddenly here! My first words to him were, “Where did you come from?”

Phoenix is now big brother to his Sister Étoile; they can be seen on the front cover of this issue! I love you my precious cherubs!

Image Credit: Dee Gotel

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Durani (Or Dee to her friends) Gotel is formerly from the UK. She trained in interior design and architecture achieving a diploma and BA Honors degree. She is now a proud mama of her two children Phoenix and Ettie and living on Maui. Durani emigrated from London over a decade ago and works full-time as a designer for ERGObaby.