Pregnancy and making love

Most every expectant couple wonders,“Is it O.K. to make love while we’re pregnant?” For the most part the answer is yes, absolutely. Babies are made of love and thrive in an environment super-charged with love.    

Loving, gentle sexual union, both intercourse and outer-course, constitute an important part of a committed partnership. I say committed because sexually transmitted infections (STI) can threaten the health and well-being of both the expectant mother and her developing baby. Here I advise expectant couples, who are not sexually exclusive, to use condoms, although there is no guarantee with some STIs transmitted even when a condom has been employed.      

There are instances when it is best to abstain from intercourse. Women who have a history of miscarriage will wish to pay special attention to the warning signs of miscarriage. If you are spotting, cramping and/or bleeding, refrain from sexual activity and see your midwife or doctor as soon as possible. When you call for an appointment, make it clear that you are bleeding and must see your health-care provider immediately. Don’t let yourself be put-off until ‘next week’.

Many expectant couples, the morning after making love, find the woman has spotted a little. Don’t be alarmed, in most cases the spotting is minimal and comes from the cervix, not the interior of the “baby house” (the uterus). Stay calm, neither you nor your baby will benefit from stress.  However, you still must contact your midwife or doctor, as advised above. When it comes to making love, especially if risk factors for miscarriage, like bleeding, spotting or cramping, are present, – when in doubt, leave it out.

Most pregnancies move forward without mishap though. Healthy mothers-to-be can enjoy a healthy, satisfying sex life while pregnant. In fact, many a post-dates woman, threatened with medical induction has made love with her husband to stimulate the onset of labor, naturally. Prostaglandin, a component of semen, can soften the cervix and prepare a woman for labor, while sexual union can cause the hormone oxytocin to be shared between both man and woman. Oxytocin is the hormone of “love”. Once labor has begun, oxytocin drives the birth-machine by causing the uterus to contract. Once the birth is complete, oxytocin along with prolactin, make breastfeeding possible.

Sex for a conscious couple can become a sacrament. Loving, gentle, healing, committed, ecstatic sexual union, invites loving, gentle, ecstatic beings, committed to healing, into our lives.

From a personal experience, one beautiful night under the influence of the full moon hung in the Indonesian sky, my husband said, “Something is different tonight, you are definitely fertile.” We went ahead and consciously made our son, Hanoman. I remember that as I dropped off into blissful sleep I thought, “This is the job I was born to do.” Today, our twenty-five year old son, with a mop of red hair, serenades us with his violin and we thank heaven for the gift of love making, which made this extraordinary boy’s life possible.

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