In no particular order:
1. Single mamas generally know what they want.
2. There is an ex. And there is a history.
3. It isn’t always going to be about you. Be prepared to share your mama. She doesn’t want another child to tend to. She wants a man.
4. If you are introduced to her children, consider it an honor, and don’t take it lightly. Remember, she is choosing you, because she trusts you and sees long-term potential.
5. Be consistent. Show up. Be timely. A mama has a strict schedule to adhere to. It builds a child’s trust in you as well.
6. Life with children is sometimes messy. Expect tantrums and teenage rebellion. And be there for your mama when she feels like pulling her hair out, as she undoubtedly will!
7. But, don’t try to be the daddy. Chances are, they already have one. And if not, let your woman lead the way. Instead, be their friend and be solid.
8. If you aren’t sure if you want to be committed, skip the introduction, as it can potentially damage the emotional health of the child. Few mamas want to introduce her children to a new partner every three months!
9. Don’t play games with her. Communicate responsibly and thoroughly. She has a lot on her plate that she is juggling. The last thing she needs is a complicated relationship.
10. Be supportive. Be a listening ear for her concerns and frustrations.
11. Be gentle with her. She may be tired, moody, disheveled, caught up, the list goes on. When she has time for you, she will make it count.
12. A woman’s emotional landscape is vast. If her needs are met, her body will respond accordingly. This applies to any woman, single mama or not.
13. Do something nice for her. She has a house to manage, a tight schedule to keep, and if you happen to be childless, understand that you may never truly understand what it is like to be in her shoes. Cook dinner, do a few dishes, or rub her feet once in a while. A little goes a long way!
14. Do something nice for the children. Take them on a surprise outing, or to a movie. Connection is key. And remember that you are not just dating the mother, in a sense, you are dating her children as well.
19. Remember that single moms are a different breed. Do not expect her to conduct a life that is similar to her single counterparts.
20. If you find yourself in the position of dating a single mother, consider yourself lucky. If her emotional needs are met, you may find yourself receiving a great deal in return. And the rich connection that can be cultivated with a child can light up your life, immensely!
21. And, if the two of you break up, please do your best to maintain some sort of connection with the child. It is important that children learn to trust the adults in their lives. Remember, children are our future. And whether you know it or not, you play a critical part in creating a healthy tomorrow.