postpartum sexuality

The journey of childbearing is one of the most transformative processes, we as women will go through. It catalyzes radical change in every aspect of our bodies, minds, and overall life. Our bodies have the wisdom to build a thriving environment for new life to form in, grow in, and birth into the world and heal afterwards. We don’t even have to “think” about it, our bodies just “know”. This is what I call “Womb Widsom” and it truly is a miracle.

The changes we go through, while are often uncomfortable, have the potential to reboot all of our systems, from immunity, endocrine, digestive, all the way to sexual. It will bring our “stuff” up like nothing else, and in that there will be healing and growth.

It destabilizes us, but down the road gives us the opportunity to become more stable. It creates upheaval but also an overhaul. This window of time has the potential to enhance our health and help us heal in ways we didn’t even know we needed or could.

This can affect all aspects of life. One surprising area of change we can often undergo is sexually. This window of time gives us the potential of blossoming towards our own unique blueprint of sexual awakening. Who we are as women. Being comfortable in our amazing bodies.

We are energetic creatures with channels, meridians, chakras (energy centers) and electromagnetic fields. In this unfolding process, it is feasible for our energy body to be opened up in new ways allowing us more pleasure potential. This doesn’t happen overnight and is different for everyone. It is most likely to occur after the healing of the trauma of birth with a partner that is on board for getting creative and going beyond his usual edges.

For some women, the change of hormones during pregnancy open her up so much, she becomes very pleasure heightened while pregnant and even has the potential for an orgasmicbirth. (This is why I advocate opening to sensual pleasure as much as possible before and during pregnancy because what got the baby in, helps get the baby out!). Either way, it is a fine line between pleasure and pain (especially at birth).

One of keys to experience more pleasure in our sexuality is to “stay out of our head” and create a mindfulness practice. This helps us be the observer of our thoughts and not let them run the show. When we are in our thinking mind too much, we can easily slip into stressful emotional states, which take us out of our (pleasure) body and more in our pain body/discomfort. In order to experience more pleasure, we have to remain fully ‘embodied’.

A mindfulness practice can simply be focusing on our breath, which keeps us in our body. Embodiment allows the true wisdom to flow through us with ease and ultimately leads us to more pleasure. Practices such as dance, yoga, exercise of any type, Qi gong, lovemaking, baths, receiving massage or healing work, etc, with focus on the breath (not your thoughts) are great ways to stay in your body and circulate your life force and take the opportunity to all that is opening to you and within you.

Getting your partner on board with your process can be key, in fact it is an opportune time for you to harness each other, since he too is going through big changes. Intimacy begins to look different with our partners during this time. Patience and communication are imperative. Sensual massage, is probably one of the best ways to circulate pleasure energy. Learn what feels good to you. Explore. Discover and experience sensations and let them move through you on a regular basis and always, always focus on your breath.

Whatever your experience becomes in this process, remember the power your body beholds. You created life and it has activated something powerful in you. Be open to it leading you and your body to the next level of your potential as a woman. 

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Kylie Cole is a practitioner of AMMA Therapy, a specialized form of Acupressure that is based on Chinese Medicine. She is also a long time Doula, Yoga teacher and lover of Ayurvedic medicine. She incorporates Sacred Sexual Education in her offerings. Her specialty is working with women in their transformation process and couples in the childbearing years. She can be reached at kaishaktiyoga@gmail.com.

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